Living on Bad Knowledge
Lures of the Shadow Dragon
The phrase “The pursuit of happiness” reflects everything wrong with our perception of life. It is bad knowledge—a hidden dragon. Happiness is a place where we begin. It is not something to pursue.
Bad Knowledge
“Blood is thicker than water.”
Counterproductive aspect: This phrase often reinforces the idea that family ties should always take precedence over other relationships, regardless of the toxicity or negativity of those family dynamics. It can discourage individuals from setting healthy boundaries or seeking fulfilling relationships outside their biological relatives.
2. “Everything happens for a reason.”
Counterproductive aspect: While meant to provide comfort during tough times, this saying can lead to passivity and discourage people from taking proactive steps to change their circumstances. It can also make people feel unnecessarily guilty for events outside their control.
3. “Follow your heart.”
Counterproductive aspect: While following one’s passion is important, this advice can sometimes lead to impulsive decisions without considering practical implications or responsibilities. A balance of emotional intuition and rational thought is often more beneficial.
4. “Never give up.”
Counterproductive aspect: Persistence is valuable, but this saying can sometimes lead to stubbornness or continuing down unproductive paths. Knowing when to pivot, let go, or try a different approach is also crucial for success and well-being.
5. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
Counterproductive aspect: This can minimize the real psychological or emotional damage of traumatic events. Recovery requires acknowledgment and active response, not just endurance or acceptance of suffering.
5. “Fake it till you make it.”
Counterproductive aspect: While this can be useful in building confidence, over-reliance on this saying can lead to an inauthentic life and potentially ignoring underlying issues that need attention (see social media for many examples of this dragon). It could also stop people from seeking help or improving their skills genuinely.
6. “Good things come to those who wait.”
Counterproductive aspect: Patience is a virtue, but excessive waiting and passivity might result in missed opportunities. Sometimes, initiative and action are required to make good things happen.
7. “Money can’t buy happiness.”
Counterproductive aspect: While true in a philosophical sense, this saying can undermine the very real stress and unhappiness caused by financial insecurity. It also prevents people from striving for economic stability, a legitimate and essential aspect of well-being.
8. “I’ll be happy when…”
Counterproductive aspect: This phrase reflects the belief that happiness is contingent upon achieving specific external goals or circumstances, leading individuals to postpone happiness indefinitely. It also exposes low self-esteem hidden by one’s desires for tomorrow, avoiding the solution that presents itself today.
9. “I’ll just ignore it, and it will go away.”
Counterproductive aspect: While there is value in not overfocusing on a circumstance, this avoidance tactic reflects the bad knowledge that problems or challenges can be resolved by simply ignoring them, rather than confronting them directly and taking proactive steps to address them.
These sayings do contain a kernel of truth but taken at face value, without critical thinking, they can lead to misunderstandings about what actions are truly beneficial for leading a fulfilling life.
The Chains of the Smoke Dragon
The lies we live are dragons — our ignorance, the masks we use to hide them. Here we examine the lies we live by and their ramifications on the individual and society.
The Lies We Live By
Denial of Impermanence
Accepted Fallacy: Despite knowing the truth of impermanence, we often deceive ourselves into believing that transient things possess lasting qualities. This denial leads to a false sense of security and stability in an inherently changing world. Our denial of death produces a distrust of life where we can no longer enjoy a passing moment without seeking to imprison it in some way.
2. Seeking Permanence in Nouns
Accepted Fallacy: We often seek happiness and fulfillment from external sources such as people, possessions, and achievements, despite knowing that these nouns are impermanent. This pursuit of permanence in impermanent entities perpetuates dissatisfaction and disillusionment. In more severe cases, this behavior leads to debilitating mental anguish.
3. Fear of Uncertainty
Accepted Fallacy: Humans are often driven by a fear of uncertainty and the unknown. In response, we may deceive ourselves into creating illusions of control and stability, even if that means denying the reality of constant change.
4. Blame and Victimhood
Accepted Fallacy: Instead of taking responsibility for our happiness, we may blame external factors or other people for our dissatisfaction. This perpetuates a cycle of victimhood and disempowerment, as we relinquish control over our lives. Once more, this deception can also lead us to recruit others into the world of victimhood further relieving ourselves of the responsibility for our happiness.
The ramifications of the lies we live by can have profound effects on various aspects of individuals’ lives and society as a whole.
Ramifications of Lies
1. Stagnation and Lack of Growth
Manifested Woe: Resisting change and clinging to familiar circumstances can result in stagnation and a lack of personal growth. Without embracing change and challenging self-deceptive patterns, individuals may remain stuck in unfulfilling situations and fail to realize their full potential.
2. Societal Impact
Manifested Woe: The collective perpetuation of these lies on a societal level can contribute to cultural norms that prioritize materialism, external validation, and avoidance of personal responsibility. This can foster a culture of superficiality, unhealthy competition, and selfish individualism, undermining genuine human connection and collective well-being.
2. Existential Crisis
Manifested Woe: The discrepancy between the pursuit of external sources of happiness and the realization of their impermanence can trigger existential crises and a profound sense of meaninglessness. Individuals may grapple with fundamental questions about the purpose of life and struggle to find authentic meaning and fulfillment.
Overall, the ramifications of the lies we live by are multifaceted and can deeply impact individuals’ mental, emotional, and social well-being, as well as broader societal dynamics. Recognizing and confronting these lies is essential for cultivating genuine happiness, resilience, and collective flourishing.
Confronting the Hidden Dragon
There is a moment we all face, but it is not a moment we will all accept. It is the moment when we awaken to the lies we are living. A choice appears: change, or ignore this moment of honest sight.
One choice leads us back into the cave of our hiding dragons, while the other takes us out of these shadows and back into the light.
If you choose to return to the cave please begin this article again until you are ready.
If you choose to exit the cave, please read on.
Like the wise among us, those who are happy with no conditional reason, have a certain aura. They possess the courage to see themselves in all moments. As stated above, happiness is where we begin, it is not something to pursue. For those who embody happiness as a state of being, and not dependent on the acquisition of nouns for an ephemeral feeling, certain qualities stand out.
Qualities of Happiness
Meekness
Detectable quality: Life is not seen as something to win at. Success isn’t driven by the accumulation of wealth, the adoration of others, or their defeat. The determinate factor for success is internal satisfaction with oneself, free from the acceptance/rejection model that is reliant on the reactions of others.
2. Self-acceptance
Detectable quality: Life is not seen as a stage to prove oneself. Self-worth is no longer something to regulate. One’s value is self-determined. Failure is not considered a setback but is redefined as a necessary stage of growth. Life is a friend, not an adversary.
3. Interdependency, not codependency
Detectable quality: Though one can fulfill one’s emotional needs, there is an understanding of the value of balanced relationships necessary for growth. One knows how to be responsible for themselves by setting boundaries, but not barriers. Here we see an emphasis on harmonic relationships, not antagonistic relationships driven by our shadow selves, our hiding dragons.
4. Self-awareness
Detectable quality: A foundational quality for someone doing inner work. A keen understanding of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. This awareness allows the recognition of patterns and triggers in one’s life.
5. Open-mindedness
Detectable quality: Embracing new perspectives and being willing to challenge one’s beliefs and assumptions. This openness facilitates growth and learning. The ego is losing its power here as an open-minded individual is willing to be corrected if the facts presented are contrary to their beheld truths.
6. Resilience:
Detectable quality: Life often involves facing uncomfortable truths about oneself and navigating emotional upheavals. Resilience is the quality of recovering from setbacks and continuing a path of self-improvement.
7. Compassion
Detectable quality: Self-compassion becomes crucial. It involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding when confronting personal flaws and failures. Compassion then extends to others, recognizing that everyone has their struggles.
8. Humility
Detectable quality: Recognizing that there is always more to learn. This trait becomes essential for personal growth and helps maintain an open and receptive state
9. Curiosity
Detectable quality: A genuine interest in exploring the depths of one’s psyche, which is vital for sustained engagement in inner work. This curiosity is present, in abundance, within the expanding creative mind of a child that knows no limit and, therefore, is void of the associated fear.
Oh, be forewarned, the brightness of awareness can wound, but it is hurt we need, and it is a hurt we deserve. I am not advocating for punishment here. That would be a hidden dragon. Bright light to eyes exposed to prolonged darkness can be very painful. We deserve this pain, this hurt, for it embodies the beautiful ache of movement after stagnation, or the awakening discomfort after a prolonged slumber, of being reborn into a realm of awareness. We deserve this opportunity. This pain, I accept.
Loving the Teaching Dragon
This section might naturally be titled ‘Slaying Your Dragons,’ implying that our shadows are external enemies we must conquer. However, such a title reflects ignorance rather than wisdom. At this point in our journey, there is no ‘other’; there is only the Self and its reflection set before us. While I use the term ‘Loving,’ it’s not to suggest coddling or that a simple hug will suffice. Love is not a path for the faint-hearted. The journey to Self-awakening might be a straight stretch of road, but it is narrow. Let’s explore some traits of those who courageously tread this path.
Path of the Loving
Acceptance of Impermanence
Luminous Trait: Embrace the truth of impermanence and acknowledge that change is an inherent part of life. Practice mindfulness and cultivate a sense of acceptance towards the transient nature of reality.
2. Internalized Happiness
Luminous Trait: Shift the focus from external sources of happiness to internal fulfillment and contentment. Cultivate gratitude, self-awareness, and self-compassion to find joy in the present moment.
3. Personal Responsibility
Luminous Trait: Take ownership of your happiness and well-being. Refrain from blaming external factors or other people for your circumstances, and instead focus on making proactive choices to create a fulfilling life.
4. Self-Reflection and Growth
Luminous Trait: Regularly reflect on your thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors to identify and challenge any self-deceptive patterns. Seek personal growth and self-awareness through practices such as meditation, therapy, or journaling.
5. Embrace Change
Luminous Trait: Embrace change as an opportunity for growth and transformation. Instead of resisting or denying change, adapt and evolve with the shifting circumstances of life.
By confronting these lies we live by and implementing countermeasures, individuals can cultivate a deeper sense of authenticity, resilience, and fulfillment in their lives. Happiness is but a choice away.
From one Dragon Lover to another — let’s look out for each other!
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